When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. Wayne Dyer
If you’ve been an employer or an employee at any time in your life, it’s a sure bet that you either gave or have had a performance evaluation. In my case, the last 5 years of my career in corporate America, evaluations were dreaded and always consistently negative judgments and criticisms by people who rarely spoke with me or were critical of something that they never bothered to talk with me about until the evaluation.
Our state of mind when we are judged or criticized ranges from hurt to anger and stress, we feel pretty miserable. It’s pretty easy to become immersed in a behavior if you’ve been subjected to it or been in an environment that supports it all of your life.
If you’re determined to achieve your dream, consider looking within yourself with the intention of creating a more positive way of believing, especially how you speak and think of others and yourself. If you’re ready to make this leap into a new way of being, you’ll consider everything including the type of people that you surround yourself with.
Keep in mind that you not only have the power to deliberately choose your thoughts, you also consciously select the people that you’re friends with. Removing negative comments, criticisms and judgments from your conversations about some else’s way of being can be done, it will take some effort on your part. If you truly intend to become a better person and live a happier life, creating a new way of thinking is essential.
In order to connect with your soul, part of your development should include retraining yourself to withhold judgment and criticisms of others and yourself. It may even mean eliminating some people from your circle of friends, especially those that thrive on negativism. The inevitable result of the decisions you make is how your present life is and your future will be.
I am always looking for ways to improve myself and love to share what I’ve learned to provide tools to help with ways of being and living. For me, being raised by a judgmental and critical parent and working in an environment that condoned both, undoing my tendency to be critical and judgmental felt like a major challenge because it’s been a way of being for a long time. But, from my experience, it has become easier to choose optimistic thoughts and ways to look at someone and situations especially when I consciously remember the human factor and that we are all from the same source.
I guarantee that it feels so good, whether it’s yourself or another person that you’re angry with, to keep in mind that we’re all doing the best we can based on what we were taught and believe that our way of being is the only way to be. I am connected with some wonderful, inspirational online radio hosts on Facebook. One of the female hosts started a personal challenge to remain positive for three days, which included noticing when she would judge or criticize. I loved the concept so much that I decided to put it into practice for myself.
I began with creating thoughts that were positive and concentrated on the times when I judged or criticized someone, a situation or a process and focused on stopping myself . I put this new practice into place on a business trip with a couple of friends on the way home when a conversation began between the two ladies that focused on a women that we all knew.
Their conversation began by pointing out all of this woman’s shortcomings, and shifted to criticisms concerning everything about her, from her badly polished nails, her hairstyle to her choice of clothes and shoes. As I listened, I focused on staying out of the conversation, then I recalled when I used to be that critical.
So how can you achieve this major plateau? Check your thoughts as the come into your mind. Then you can deliberately choose to tackle this way of thinking by using:
- Self-talk and intentionally choose your thoughts as they come into your mind.
- Remember the sunny side of life and the best in everyone.
- Catch the judgment and change your thoughts to something fun, or different to remove your mind from the situation, even a song that you really connect with (my current song is Zip-a-Dee-Doo–Dah).
- Stop criticism by giving thought to your own self-improvement, choose to focus on the best in you and how your presence affects the lives of your family and friends.
- Think well of yourself and announce it to the world.
- Think of ways to make all of your true friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
The challenge of this new way of being is to learn to think from the other person’s point of view. It is a process that takes effort every single day. If you find that you cannot think of something positive about yourself or the person that you have negative thoughts about, then focus on ways that you can improve your belief system so you don’t have the time to criticize or judge yourself or another.
Intentionally change the way you view people and those people will appear differently to you. If you desire a happy life, continue to strive for ways that you resonate with to make changes within yourself and the people that you make friends with.
©you’re the best